It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
Dude. I have so much pot that i only worry about running out of lighters
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I have never encountered a chode in the wild
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
