She's JV to your varsity
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
