It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I woke up to a bag of pies and a lot of questions
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
I collect Covid conspiracy theories like I collect Pokemon.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
Randomize
