Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
I thought I would take a shower to wake me up but now I'm naked wet and stoned laying on my bed instead of just stoned laying on my bed
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I just got licked by a stripper, not so great anymore.
OH YEAH AND FORGOT TO THANK YOU FOR THE lack of WARNING THAT HE WASN'T CIRCUMSIZED.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
You also spilled beer on my dog and tried to wipe it off with a paper towel but he kept getting away from you.
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
