3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Are you drunk already?
Not already - at LAST.
Randomize
