Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
so i just saw your dad embarking upon a biking journey in full reflective gear
...this stays between you and me
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
you covered his dog in toothpaste. safe to say hes not gonna call you.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
The only good thing about this is that the pharmacy guy will stop trying to add me on Facebook.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
