i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Whats the name of the guy with his hand down my pants?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
