I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
They took my balls.
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Is it rude to say "I hate you because you live inside Hillary Clinton's asshole"?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
You know something is wrong with your lifestyle when you have to clean easy Mac cheese powder off of your scale
at least it's not cocaine like last time
Randomize
