He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Can't we just go back to fucking and having your boyfriend think you're completely straight?
I imagine you as a cat holding your burrito with two paws and cutely eating it
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
