he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
Randomize
