Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
Dude I got a text from you at 1:30 last night and you didn't use any vowels
Haha, I didn't want to buy any... we're in a recession you know
So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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