this girl literally referred to her butthole as her "back pussy"
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I've got to admit, I'm a little hesitant about giving him road head. I've seen how he drives and I've seen how he acts when I give him head. A small part of me is saying this is going to end badly.
Boys that pee in my bed don't get happy birthday wallposts on facebook
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
I'm like the total package- I don't want a relationship and I have daddy issues. What more could he want?
Randomize
