Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You tried to pay the bartender in graduation checks, I think you'll be fine in the real world.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
We kind of crashed their funeral party. Oops.
I remember eating bacon bits off your chest that night... I'll never look at bacon pizza the same way
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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