Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
whats the proper etiquette for returning a closet door to a random girl you met and do not know her name?
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
Nobody has ever asked me for my honest opinion on whether they needed anal bleaching before
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
well someone pooped in the lint basket in the laundry room last night, but none of us will admit to it so we're all just secretly judging each other and doubting ourselves.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
So I'm about to drive his drunk ass home and he spits on my car. Before I can say, "Dude, what the fuck?!", he puts his finger to my lips and goes "shhh, its in the past."
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
We fucked for 9 months, but he didn't want anything serious. So, I got rid of him and went on a date with a guy last night that looks like Kylo Ren. Who's really winning here?
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