I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
i woke up on my kitchen floor, halfway through a text, and my mascara running... this is why i stopped drinking tequila
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
I haven't gotten it in awhile but since spring break is next week I'm willing to have a pregnancy scare if it means no bleeding through the suit
Yeah wouldn't want it to interfere with beach sex. Nothing should interfere with beach sex
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Randomize
