i permit you to call me
Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
My desperation for dick was off put by his anime figure collection.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
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