I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
I showed up to a booty-call in my onesie pajamas and rubber boots
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
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