"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
i also saw a trio of peacocks walking along a sidewalk in hollywood today. i really hope im not tripping.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
Nothing says I've got my life together like buying a jumbo bottle of 7$ wine in sweat pants on a monday night
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
I'm at about main and main street
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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