I just saw a hot homeless man
I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
her parents were awake and in the next room. i think i deserve a big fucking medal for that orgasm.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I'm cleaning my apartment while naked. Anyone who says that's not why they want to live on their own is lying.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
My roommate wasn't home and I was too drunk and tired so I peed in the trash can. Twice.
Randomize
