So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
we need a dd. For wednesday. At lunch. What are we doing with our lives?
succeeding
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
you drew a penis with ranch dressing. tried to take a picture of it and dropped your phone in it. Then made moaning sounds while you licked it off.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
Randomize
