we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
Dude your life.. At your sugar daddies house sending nudes to your fwb
I AM GETTING LAID TONIGHT YES HAPPY DAY PRAISE JESUS ALMIGHTY IN HEAVEN DEAR GOD CHRIST YES DADDY YAAASSS
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
Randomize
