She kept calling me her DD, which I assumed meant designated driver, so I was confused because I don't even have a car. Found out later it means designated dick. It's what her and her friends use as code for the guy they want to hook up with at the end of the night. I feel so used.
i feel like im playing gay clue. i have to figure out where i am, who took me home, and what he put in me
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Wearing the flip cup varsity team sweatshirt was the best descision of my life.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
