I'm being pulled over???
For what!?!?!
??? I'm in a cab!!!!!
Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
I can always tell its time to do laundry when my vibrator doesn't stay covered up in my sock drawer.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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