y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I'm pretty sure this isn't my phone, but I do like these nude pics
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
The cashier looked at my basket, looked at me and said "That's a lot of wine." I looked at her and said "Mother in law." She nodded approvingly.
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
send nudes
from the living room?
Randomize
