we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
You spent about half an hour trying to convince me that mesh condoms were a good idea.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
i cannot be the only guy who has bought the every day with rachael ray magazine for use as porn
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
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