I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I told the cop it was my birthday and he said "happy fuckin birthday", handcuffed me and threw me in the back of the cop car.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Sometimes I think he has a hidden camera in my vagina so he knows what I'm doing and saying at all times...
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
