you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
I'm about to cry with happyness at the beer that will be consumed
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
we got stoned then he started showing me how to make his penis look like a hamburger...if that's not true love idk what love is
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I can't masturbate without laughing really hard at some point and it's entirely your fault.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
where the fuck are you? she just tazed two people and we're tripping shrooms...successful first night in new apartment!
He was eating me out on a picnic table on the frame lake trail and right after I came, a group of hikers walked around the corner. Stood up just in time
And this is one of the many reasons why you need a car.
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