JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
I bet there is no greater pleasure in life than pistol whipping people.
Anal.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
dude she was so drunk she thought Jim Joyce made the right call
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
Randomize
