that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
Carpe scrotum. Grab life by the balls.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
i cant believe we used adam and eve as a sexting theme last night
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
