Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Know what's awkward? Having a couple of moving guys watch while you detach the bondage cuffs from your bedframe, that's what.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize
