K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
My one night stand from last weekend is now taking me on a date this weekend. How is this my life?
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