Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
getting caught by my parents in bed with another guy was way easier coming out than telling them over dinner like I had planned.
Stop staring at my boobs, I can't concentrate
Well how do you think I feel
fair enough
The djing cat is back again. I think he just makes appearances when im shit drunk just to fuck with my mind.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
He's talking about how great of a find these dollar store condoms were. Help.
Russell brand is gross. Everytime I see him I just wanna give him a bath. He's like a used condom.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
That was the #1 scariest moment in my life. I have full trust in you, I let you bite my penis for god sake.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Randomize
