Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I know its time to do laundry... i cant even find a dirty sock to wear because they all have jizz in them
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
Randomize
