his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He said the last thing he remembered thinking was: 'Why is this vagina spinning?' Too drunk sex is no ones friend.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
I texted him a series of texts in which the first letters of each text spelled out "WE SHOULD HAVE SEX". If that's not dedication to the dick, I don't know what is
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
