called my therapist. she asked if I was sad bc of m.j.'s death. are ppl that pathetic?
you need more empathy. some people get depressed for reasons OTHER than being a whore.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
