his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
i actually have a tan line from him holding my boob while we were sunbathing
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
My cat is staring at me while I drink my wine on the bathroom floor in the morning instead of attending class. Sorry mom and dad. Sorry cat.
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You know that panicky moment when you go home with a guy and realize you’ve been there before?!? HAPPENING RIGHT NOW!!!
Turns out I banged his son a few months ago but the kids back at college so I don’t have to worry about him walking in while Dad has me bent over the couch
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