Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
It's great when the cashier at the liquor store asks "weren't you wearing those clothes yesterday"
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
The amount of precision it takes to urinate into a 2 liter bottle while hammered is undeniably difficult.
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
What does it say about my expectations if I'm pounding three beers the hour before a date?
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
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