I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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