I feel like I'm in dance class right now
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
i can't believe i brushed your teeth last night. so drunk.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
The waitress at the Denny's in usa remembered me from 2 years ago when we went at 4 in the morning plastered, wearing overalls and huge inflatable corona hats on our heads
Randomize
