your youtube search consisted of "food slideshow" and "the angry beavers"
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
no, but he did start crying. who the fuck is 30, covered in tattoos and crys about an ex? get your shit together, man.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
And on the 323rd day without sex, God finally said let there be light...or love?
Randomize
