Hope the move went well! I'll miss you!
you are a cunt and I hated living with you and your skeezy boyfriend.Just thought I'd get that out there.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
