Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
Also what is the name of Americas thing where we had a holy obligation to expand westward? I'm going name my new lighter that.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
