Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
there's nothing like that first "just failed out of my program" beer
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Randomize
