hook me up with the drugs dog keep up the good work
i hate having sex with him only a few drinks in. i like it better when i cant remember the gory details.
he puts the penis in happiness.
Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
I still can't believe that dog licked my nipple.
Randomize
