I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Is it love? I honestly haven't even thought about watching porn for over a week now, and haven't thought about fucking any strangers either. It's quite eerie.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
sorry for showing your butt to the bar
sorry for licking your cheek
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
He's honking my boob in his sleep
It's innocent and endearing in some way
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