Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
What kind of true American would I be if I didn't just smoke weed in my bathrobe on my back porch in the middle of suburbia on 4/20? #stepmomoftheyear
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
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