Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Last night the nurse at the ER told me that she wished all her drunk patients were like me. Then she commented on my socks...
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
Randomize
