i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I don't remember what happened but judging from the contents of my pockets it had something to do with potatoes and glo in the dark condoms
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I just had sex with the kid I walked next to at my first holy communion
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
