Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
In America we eat man semen.
YOU CAN RENT MIDGETS ON CRAIGS LIST
I told you not to ruin your birthday surprise!
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
If he really loved his girlfriend then he'd wear a condom when he fucks me.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
I feel that the drunker I get, the drunker Facebook gets.
Bitch, it's 2 in the afternoon.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Randomize
