Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
Aaaand I cut your bangs with a large knife last night ...
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
I'm sending you a dick pic. Ill tell the other ppl in this pancheros its cool
Don't send a pic of dick unless it's inside the burrito
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
Hey does the gas gauge in your car work?
Nevermind...we figured it out. Heres a more relevant question, does your insurance have roadside assistance?
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